If there are people in your life that you don’t like, the negative energy vibrations you transmit towards them drag down your positive vibes and you end up lower down on the “vibes scale” than you want to be. For example, let’s say, on a scale of 1 – 10: 10 is your highest positive vibration, and 1 will be your most negative.
Even if you have high vibes with most people in your life, just having one person you don’t like, can drag your vibes down to a lower level.
It is in YOUR best interests to find a way to be grateful to all people, yes!, even if you hate them, even if they drive you crazy, even if you are completely justified in hating them because of their unspeakably heinous behavior towards you.
Here are 5 keys to transform your perspective.
1. DISCOVER THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM
The first step is to spend time with yourself and look into what happens to YOU when this particular person sets you off. Take the focus off them and shine the light fairly and squarely on yourself. You probably find you’re filled with a turmoil of emotions: anger, frustration, irritation, hurt, disappointment and so on. Allow these emotions to be there with nonjudgment and compassion for yourself.
I recommend the Gibberish expressive meditation technique* for releasing emotional turmoil. By dumping these feelings out in a meditation context, you quickly re-discover your inner peace, clarity of mind and well-being. In addition, your sense of humor, and creativity return. From this place of wisdom and clarity you can start to move into compassion, and understand that the other person is living in pain and fear and doesn’t know a better way to behave.
2. FOCUS ON THE GOOD
Most people have some redeeming qualities, although in certain cases they are quite hidden from view. Assume the good qualities are in there, somewhere, because they are. Remember that everyone is born filled with love, joy, and inner peace. Somewhere in their life (for many people it’s because of an abusive childhood), this person has lost their way and become disconnected from the Source of Love. They have become trapped in a cycle of abuse – towards themselves and others.
Send this person vibrations of love. Pray for them. Ask that they will find their way back to the light. This does not mean that what they did to you was ok. It doesn’t mean that you have to spend time with them, or even have them in your life. It doesn’t mean that you are the person to help them.
It does mean, however, that you raise YOUR positive vibration level. (Hopefully they will receive your gift but we can’t control that part).
YOU BENEFIT, IMMEDIATELY!
3. CREATE BOUNDARIES
One of the reasons people irritate us and get under our skin is because we don’t make our boundaries clear. It’s important to be clear about what is acceptable behavior towards us and what isn’t. This means we have to speak our truth, no matter what.
Everyone in your life should be respectful, friendly and courteous towards you. If they are not, it’s up to you to address the issue. Always make sure that you are respectful, kind and courteous towards others.
4. MIND YOUR VIBRATION
We get what we vibrate. If we speak to people in anger, that’s what we get back. If we are disrespectful, mean and insincere, that’s what we get back.
Dump out your turbulent emotions in the gibberish meditation technique* and, when you feel calm and relaxed, have a conversation with the person you don’t like, or write them an email or a letter. Communicate what you want with clarity, friendliness, and respect.
The more clearly you ask for what you want, the more likely you are to get it.
The #1 reason you are doing this, remember, is to shift YOUR vibrational level higher up the scale. With most people you get a positive response, but not always. Hold the faith, because the transformation in YOU is miraculous, irrespective of how the other person responds.
My most difficult experience was dealing with an abusive family member. This individual did not respond to me in a positive way until the day they passed away. However, what happened to me was extraordinary. I shifted my perspective, and transitioned into love and compassion for that particular person, and for all people, no matter how difficult they are to like.
5. UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF LOVE
When we take 100% responsibility for what is happening inside of us, miracles happen. We find it easy to be grateful because we have transformed dislike into compassion.
Love is recognizing ourselves in the other.
On one level we are physical form and psychological make-up. On a deeper level we are all the consciousness of Oneness. Love is the recognition of our Oneness. Compassion, the highest form of love, then arises in us.
* Here is the Gibberish Expressive Meditation Technique
Benefits: You gain instant relief from turbulent emotions and from the chattering mind. You become more calm, relaxed, and creative.
Step One: Gibberish (30 seconds)
Close your eyes. Start speaking in gibberish, any nonsense sounds. Don’t worry about what you sound like. Make any sounds that arise; don’t speak in a language or use words that you know. Allow yourself to express whatever needs to be expressed within you. Just go totally mad. This is therapeutic madness.
Step Two: Sit in Silence and Watch with Nonjudgment and Compassion for Yourself (30 seconds)
You can find more information on the Gibberish and other expressive meditation techniques in my latest book: Laughter, Tears, Silence
HERE are CDs of a range of meditation techniques discussed in “Laughter, Tears, Silence”.
Are you up for transforming your perspective? I would love to hear your experiences-please put your comments below.